I wished this is my CPC 2.
I used to have a friend. Her name is Aliaa.
For the past few weeks, I've actually been counting, how many months that we spent together. How many postings that I've gone through and she was around. It's either my memory is no good or my mind refused to remember. It actually sum up to at least twenty months of knowing each other.
When I first get close to her, I actually been asking myself. Is she for real or just another of my imaginary friends? I actually took a picture of us together, just because I want to see whether she is real or not. Even then, I still thought she is imaginary because most of the time, we went out just the two of us. It does sounds scary at times.
Maybe she is real in real world, but I am the only one who is imagining befriended with her. Does this make sense? I never thought she would be my friend. I never had any friend like her.
I never set rules which kind of person may become my friend. It just happened.
What I like about her? Probably nothing.
What I don't like about her? A lot.
Still, I enjoy spending time with her. We had good laugh. We bought baju raya together. We went shopping together. We ate together. We kind of having a ritual place where we would eat each time and gossips. We talked a lot. Any of us would not mind driving in the traffic jams because we were never bored talking in midst of waiting to get to the destination.
There was a time that I felt like owning her. I started to develop a fear that she might be involved with another male friend of mine, and I will not be able to accept it. Thankfully, that did not happened. I don't know why I give a big fuss on it. I am actually happy that she is still single.
At a certain point, I was afraid that I kind of like her more than a friend. But then I was involved with another long-term boyfriend and finally got married. I love my marriage. So it is confirmed I am straight.
My world is always about me and never anybody else. Hence, I only see her when I am in trouble.
I became her friend when she is free and happy but when she has problem, I magically disappeared and nowhere to be seen.
I don't deserve a good friend as her.
Haha. Of course my husband cannot run away and has to accept me the way I am. What not to like in a marriage? I am more than glad I am married to him, I am now have somebody of my own.
She is no longer my friend. I still do see her around in the hospital. Whenever I see her, I don't know whether to look at her or ignore her. If I want to open my mouth, I don't know what to say. There is nothing to say anyway. Smile? I guess I am reluctant to smile because I assume she wouldn't smile back. So why bother.
I miss her a lot. A lot like every other day. I have an image in my head whereby she would walk up to me and smile like I am her boyfriend. This image of course very disturbing. I don't know why I think of her in that way.
And every time he talks about his wife, I felt something else in my heart. It was indescribable.
